Despite the fact that I have almost no kidney function, I continue to find myself lavishly blessed. I wake up constantly aware of the mercies of the Lord and how they are new to me each morning. The ironic thing is that the thing I am most thankful for is that the Lord has given me a thankful heart. I realize that there are a lot of people out there in my shoes who are sad, lost, alone, discouraged, depressed, and I am truly broken for them. I don’t have to muster up an attitude of joy and thankfulness – the Lord has just given it to me out of his grace. I did nothing to deserve it. Again, it was all his grace. I sometimes receive compliments for how well I am handling this situation or how joyful I am in the midst of uncertainty. I really can’t take any credit for this. My response is simply – God, you are so good.
I also realize that it may not last forever. If it gets harder, if I have to start dialysis, if I’m not eligible for a transplant…will I have joy then? Will my eyes still focus on the good the Lord has given me instead of the bad that can so easily steal our joy? I can only pray to the God of grace that he will continue to give me a heart of thankfulness….even if.
This week, we have been in Siloam Springs, AR exhibiting at their annual missions fair for One by One Nicaragua. This is our first time to ever do anything like this, and we have definitely learned a lot! It has been good practice for Urbana12 this December, which will be very similar but on a much larger scale.
