I started this post months ago, but was
reminded to finish it after going to Wal-Mart with some friends of ours who
recently moved back to the States from Nicaragua. I’ve updated it to more
accurately describe my current feelings.
Having been back in the States for nearly a year now, I like to think
the most intense emotions of reentry shock are behind us, but we still experience
them from time to time—and likely will for years. Living in a different country
inevitably changes you. Actually, I would go so far as to say that if living in
another country has no effect on your perspectives or practices, you may be
unhealthily inflexible. But I digress…
When we first got back to the States, we were running on empty—physically,
mentally, and emotionally. As such, we quickly learned which things “cost” the
most in terms of energy or anxiety:
- interacting with people we did not know well
- being in large public places
- choosing between a large amount of seemingly
equal options
Being overwhelmed all the time
was a weird phenomenon for us, and you may not fully understand it if you
haven’t experienced it personally. It’s like the emotional version of being
sore in unexpected ways after a new kind of intense exercise, but in this case,
“being sore” means having trouble making eye contact with people, being
completely incapable of answering the question, “What would you like for
dinner?” and having a lot of anxiety even thinking about leaving the house. Going
to church on a regular basis almost seemed out of the question.
The more we talk with
former
missionaries or
read their
blogs, the more we learn that these are common experiences for those
returning from out of the country. And there’s one thing especially that
everyone like us agrees is the absolute worst: Wal-Mart.
